Holiday Bizarre #21: Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas

I’m kind of still in shock that I found this Christmas album; I think it’s the weirdest one that I’ve featured here. This is a Christmas album, sung entirely by The Cryptkeeper (John Kassir.) Somewhere some one thought the world was missing a Tales from the Crypt Christmas album. People amaze me.

Released in 1994 it was an utter failure with sales. I can see why, I don’t think the world is ready for a Cryptkeeper Christmas. It’s scary, gory and distasteful. You know; everything you’d expect it to be. With that said it is very fun and there are a few songs I was able to get amusement out of. It’s not for everyone but if you are a horror fan, a non-traditionalist or a Tales from the Crypt groupie you might love it. Find a free download or be prepared to shell out some money for this though. It’s now fallen into that “rare” status since there have not been any re-releases. New copies of this CD are going for 107.67 on Amazon!


Deck the Halls With Parts of Charlie: Incredibly amusing. Poor, poor Charlie.
Christmas Rap: The Cryptkeeper is to rap as peanut butter is to chocolate. It doesn’t get more ridiculous than this.
‘Twas the Fright before Christmas: The voice is suited perfectly for this.

Merry Christmas to you! You stinking cadaver!

The Horrors:

12 Days of Cryptmas: Trite and expected, nothing special.
Cryptkeepers family Christmas: All about murdering your family, bad taste even for this album.

Full Track Listing:

01. Intro to the Album
02. Deck the Halls with Parts of Charlie
03. Juggle Bills
04. We Wish You’d Bury the Missus
05. Moe Teitlebaum
06. A Christmas Card for the Cryptkeeper
07. Christmas Rap
08. Intro to the Cryptkeeper’s Family Christmas
09. The Cryptkeeper’s Family Christmas
10. ‘Twas the Fright Before Christmas
11. Twelve Days of Cryptmas
12. Intro to Revenge of the Cryptkeeper
13. Revenge of the Cryptkeeper
14. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
15. Should Old Cadavers Be Forg

The demented can purchase it on Amazon here!